Barry- Take your millions and go away!

Now that Barry Bonds is facing federal charges for perjury and obstructing justice, it looks like his career is effectively over. All I can say is, "Barry, don't let the door hit you where the dog done bit you."

Some people would argue that Barry is good for the game, he draws fans, and helped elevate attention to the game when its popularity was sagging. To these folks I give a long, loud Bronx cheer.

What Barry "My Head is Larger than a Pumpkin" Bonds, Mark McGwire, and Sammy Sosa did to the integrity of baseball will take years if not decades to mend. It's almost like the 1919 Black Sox, er.... White Sox scandal-- on steroids. People still talk about that infamous World Series in which eight White Sox players were accused of throwing the Series against the Cincinatti Reds.

Interestingly, defendants who are brought up on federal perjury charges beat the rap in about 25% of the cases. I wonder how Bonds' "lawyuhs" will portray him. Will they continue down the road of denial- that Barry had no idea he was being given steroids?

Barry to his trainer: "Yo, hoss, why are you sticking that needle in my butt?"

Trainer to Barry: "Don't worry, Your Majesty, it's just a flu shot."

Barry: "Heck, I didn't know I was supposed to get them daily. And by the way, why is my head getting so enormous?"

Trainer: "It's just your monumental ego, Your Gravity."

Anyway, we'll see what unfolds. Maybe Barry will win the case using the racism strategy O.J.'s famous for. Or maybe we'll see those two in prison together. I can see them holding dual autograph sessions in the prison yard. Hey, now that's a photograph I'd love to have!