In Praise of Cookies!

My friends, we are gathered here today to laud the noblest of all food groups- the cookie! If you accept the theory that children are wise beyond their years, you'll note they have correctly identified the cookie as the most important food group despite sidelong glances by dietitians and other curmudgeons.

Consider this- cookies have been around a long time, almost 3,000 years! The ancient Persians (now called Iranians) are credited as having invented the sugar cookie. Oh sure, the Iranians want to blow us all to Kingdom come (if you listen to their President), but they make a dang fine dessert. Come to think of it, our President wants to blow them all to Kingdom come too. How about this? Why don't we arrange a boxing match between our Prez and theirs? You know, one of those cage matches where the loser has to leave town? I'm not real confident about our Prez on some issues, but I'll tell you what, I think he'd grab that little Iranian weasel by the polyester lapels and give him a good old-fashioned, Texas-style, butt whomping. We could all sit by and eat Oreos, drink milk, and cheer on the good old USA! Now that's team spirit!

But, I digress, this whole blog is supposed to be about the cookie. Alarmingly, the politically correct group amidst us has labeled this delicious creation as some sort of evil foisted upon an easily-duped society by the slick Ad men of Madison Avenue along with their accomplices at Keebler. What nonsense! Everyone knows there is no such thing as an evil elf! These do-gooding, but misguided wonks would have you believe that cookies are responsible for diabetes, hypertension, and the fact that Johnny can't read. Rubbish!

Even Piltdown man would've had enough gray matter to realize that cookies are as important to us as fire. Surely, if he would've discovered the correct ingredients and formulation, there might be a Piltdown University or Piltdown City or something grand of that magnitude. But, alas, Piltdown man was nothing more than a hoax, just like the hoax that's perpetrated on all of us by the food police in the media who want to legislate the cookie right out of our hands!

To them I say this- give me cookies, or give me death!