Billions, Schmillions, ...It's March Madness!

I saw an estimate the other day that March Madness, the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, will cost U.S. employers an estimated $3.8 billion in lost productivity. I'm sure there was some beauracratic dweeb economist sitting in his office overlooking the Potomac busily calculating that estimate. Scratch that. Given the size of our government, there was probably a team of dweeb economists sitting in meeting rooms across Washington, D.C. crunching those numbers.

Once they all agreed on the magic number and the report went to the top dog, I'm sure a call went to The White House, where the red phone rang in the Oval Office. The call might've gone something like this:

Bush's secretary: "Mr. President- The head of the GAO is on the line for you, sir!"

Dubbya: "The head of what? GAO? That doesn't have anything to do with gays, does it?"

"Uh, no sir. That's the head of the Government Accounting Office."

"Well, what does he want? I'm busy. Two more levels and I'll be a Pokemon trainer!"

"Yes. Um, that's great, sir, but he says it's important. He says March Madness is going to cost U.S. employers over $3.8 billion this year. He really wants to talk to you."

"March Madness, huh? I really like it, especially that Bryant Gumbel. He's my favorite announcer."

"Sir, do you mean Greg Gumbel? Byrant is his brother."

"Oh, yeah right. And I like that other guy too....what's his name?"

"Clark Kellogg?"

"Yeah, that's it. Kellogg. Reminds me of Frosted Flakes. That Tony Tiger's a real pistol. Kinda reminds me of myself."

"Yessir. Did you want to speak to the head of the GAO? He's still holding, sir...."

"Who?"

"Never mind, sir. I'll tell him you'll call back later."